The Rosebuds Bloom; Journey to Fifty-Six

Emerging, Learning, Maturing; I am Myself. I know that more forcefully than ever before and I am Proud of that.

Imagine a timid, extremely shy, introverted girl whose loves were books and dolls throughout the first ten years of her life, whose focus was doing well in school, pleasing others and being pretty much being in her own world; That was me, the quiet one or as my mother put it, very recently, TEBEH. I winced inwardly as she said that and flashes of childhood moments popped up briefly in the eyes of my mind. The phrase, FATHER knows BEST suddenly became MOTHER knows WHAT perhaps because many times as I skipped around on Juvenile Playground, stones of cowardice, fear and docility had pelted me into a cave where I had remained because I thought it was a safe and expected abode.

As I continued along EMERGING Road and found solace in its Garden, my timidity lingered, as did my shyness. Sure, I was kind and respectful to others, paid attention to human dignity, and continued to focus on academic excellence. Largely, I did not openly address or challenge issues, some of which directly impacted me. The effect turned out to be me, missing out on opportunities, being taken for granted and feeling badly inwardly. However, my introversion, seemed to abate just a tad bit where only a selected few were allowed in my circle. I was learning to let in others but when I noticed other people and their obnoxious behaviour, I just stayed clear of them. I seemed to know then what I wished not to tolerate, in certain instances, that is. But the rosebuds, were waiting to bloom fully. Although the ants sometimes crawled around from time to time, and weeds threatened to cause overgrowth, the showers provided a richness of soil, clean air and ample water for fresh blooms.

Slowly, I began making my way across to LEARNING CURVE and my self-awareness heightened. Gradually, the buds began blossoming with radiance and my timidity was lowered in huge amounts. Certainly, my sense of RHEAL took more prominence. Respect, honour, encouragement, appreciation and love expanded as did academic and professional mobility, which continued to be high up on my list. The shy, timid girl , now adult woman, was well on her way. My journey to Fifty-six was looking interesting and proving to be rather exciting,. Yes my circle widened selectively still and my introversion did not seem to be such an issue. Ants were more minute and the weeds were uprooted promptly. I was breathing clear, fresh air and the feeling was exhilarating.

Now I bask in MATURE GARDEN. And might I add that there is a RADIANCE in MATURITY too. My journey to FIFTY-SIX has been an approved and appreciated lesson that I have not regretted one bit. I am SICQ. I am a strong, independent confident queen whose introversion is no longer a bother. My circle yet selective, is well-chosen and my shyness has been re-channelled into a new creativity. As those juices flow, I am in fact very brave. I still believe in RHEAL and the obsession with books has indeed paid off. I am not afraid to challenge when and if I must. I am learning to be discerning. My sense of peace, joy and calm is now more acute and I strive to maintain it while helping others do the same. When the ants appear, I deal with them. As the drizzles, showers and torrents come, I am prepared to handle them as best as I can. The ROSEBUDS are BLOOMING. I am MYSELF. I am QUEEN ROZE.